On being a stay-at-home mom

Someone asked me if I had a hard time transitioning from being a working person to being a stay-at-home wife and mom (SAHWM). I have blogged about being a SAHWM and the changes it brought me but in snippets. This time, I will be talking fully about it.

This was the reason I decided to be a stay at home mom. But before I did, I had a thriving business and I have to be honest and say that the jump was scary.

Warmth in the Cold by Katie m. Berggren

Warmth in the Cold by Katie m. Berggren

I remember in college, although marriage and kids were not even on my mind,  I told my best friend that my plan was to be a homemaker/housewife and to throw luncheons and dinner parties. She jokingly retorted, “Hindi  housewife ang tawag dun! Socialite!” which was akin to her telling me that what I wanted was impossible. Hahaha! So I guess the pull to being home was there from the very beginning. In fact, when J and I got married, we were planning that I would be a stay-at-home wife.  So yes, the pull was there. Some of my friends from U.P. were telling me that they could not imagine being a SAHWM and they would die of boredom. That was never my concern. Still when we finally (J and I) decided to take the plunge, it was not easy for me.

My mom was a career person and except for one aunt, all of the adult females of my childhood were working women. I was very surprised though that my Mom was supportive of my decision to be a SAHWM. She was much more supportive of it than my decision to be a wedding planner! Hehehe! Also, I think I got it good because I seldom got insulting comments and retorts. Except for a couple of friends saying that they could not imagine stopping work, no one told me “Sayang ang pinag-aralan mo!” or words to that effect. I think it was because the way I presented myself did not give much opportunity for them to say that.

So if I had a supportive mom (and you have to admit, most SAHWMs have a hard time defending to their career moms their decisions) and did not get insults, what made it hard? The difficulty came from how I saw myself.

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Pregnancy hormones and motherhood

Mother-Quotes-45

When I learned I was pregnant, my life kinda crumbled. I was definitely not ready to have another baby and I was so scared that something might happen to me given my previous pregnancies/deliveries (here and  here). I prayed for a healthy baby and a safe pregnancy but since I almost always end my prayers with “May your will be done”, I grappled with my fear every day. Pregnancy hormones? Maybe. The only time I specifically asked begged God to make sure I come out of the delivery room alive and well, I was crying (think hagulgol… LOL!) . I was so scared, not for me, but for my kids and my husband.

I did not realize how my fear affected me until May (I learned I was pregnant in November so this means being in a really bad emotional rollercoaster ride for seven months). I mostly withdrew into myself. Until now I do not know if it was just me or if it was the hormones raging inside me which made me feel so helpless.

I realized that my emotional state has affected my mothering and my kids; I became a dummy mom and my kids regressed. I was there but really was not. I was emotionally detached. Oh, of course I still took care of my kids. I had activities and whatnots. I still loved them for sure and laughed at their antics and posted their -isms on Facebook but my fear and the changes in our life were becoming too much for them. Joya cried at every little thing and Jia acquired the habit of rubbing the edges of her fingernails together resulting to shortened and uneven nails. I knew their behavior was a result of stress but I did not feel strong enough to deal with them.
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Organizing our home library

Jia and Joya have over 300 books combined (as of my last count around middle of last year). With so many books on different subjects, it was so hard to organize . Jia pestered me to label her book shelves so it’s easier for her and us to fix her books. I just got so exasperated that I asked my mommy group how they organize their home library.  Kat, one of the mommies I super admire, gave me this link. I was super excited! I printed out the labels and worked on it one weekend. The result? I have organized books per topic! Ang saya!!!

Putting the labels

organizing home library

organizing home library

organizing home library

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Bloglovin it!

As you know I am currently in the process of relaunching my blog and since I am in the middle of so many things, I feel like this blog is getting to be the least of my priorities. 🙁 But since I got a few inquiries about my RSS feed, I decided to spend time to set this up. So I am now on Bloglovin! Yeah!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Welcome! Welcome!

*This is a sticky post so if this is what you’re seeing again, just scroll down and hopefully I have a new blog post for you.*

I have a new home!!!! Wooohooo!!!

Thank you for dropping by! 🙂 As you can see, I am still in the midst of transferring my blog to my new home. While I am fixing things, you may notice some irregularities. Please discount them (Malamang marami eh! LOL!) but please know that I am trying to fix everything as fast as I can in spite of morning sickness and the craving to just sleep all day. 😉 If after a year, you still notice some things and it bothers you  so much, kindly drop me a note! 🙂 Meanwhile, I will continue to blog. Enjoy reading!

Oh yeah, if you have time, please go over to Squeesome Design Studio!  Kaye and Paul helped me with my new blog design Don’t you just love it?! I DO!!!)

As my mom turns 60…

My mom, Myrna, turned 60 on July 1 and she posted this on her Facebook wall as her “attempt at life coaching” as she put it:

Lessons learned… (Unsolicited advice, whatever you may want to call it, may not be original, but believe you me, take it from From someone who just turned 60 (I feel I’m entitled to this.. Hehehhe) ..Might have been a bit late for me to learn them,but you could sure use some if not most

Be nice, just be nice…smile, say something positive, say hi, hello sincerely, acknowledge someone’s presence, kahit eye contact lang…you’ll never know how much hope or encouragement that simple act of caring could comfort or encourage the next person, or make a difference

It is always never late to be what you could or might be or achieve what you could (forgot who said this)… So, dream on… And don’t stop working for that dream! Go, girl!

My mom @ 60… pangarap daw niya kasing makapag-swimming kasama ang iba’t-ibang lahi

Don’t sweat the small stuff… But to do this, dapat linawin at maintindihan natin kung ano talaga ang “huge stuff” or what really matters.

Dahan dahan lang tayo sa panlalalait or judging or condemning.. we have no idea what the next person has been or is going through…

Spend a lot of time with your parents, while they’re still with you…. Pag wala na sila, kahit gaano karami ng time to spare ka, or money to spend for them, wala nang saysay…

Don’t stop reading and learning… Save up money to travel…

Give, pay forward, support, inspire, encourage…sabi nga, in the grand scheme of things, we need one another’s help and we haVe the moral obligation to help each other out.

Let’s practice humility… Mas magaan ang buhay at mas maraming gustong tumulong sa atin pag hindi tayo mayabang.

There… My best attempt at being a life coach…Love u all! God bless

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Love you, Mama! Thank you for this. As you know, humility is my life long battle but hopefully, I am achieving it… kaya ko yan! Hahaha! Ang yabang pa rin!!! 🙂