Keso kung keso <3

WARNING: This is a super cheesy post! Haha!

J and I have been together 16 years today. <3

My friends know how much I adore my husband. They know how much I appreciate the things he does for me. I grew up in an environment where wives are not supposed to announce to the world their love for their husbands but I feel cherished as a wife so I have no problems letting people know how much I love him. Our life is not perfect (Aba! Kung oo eh di hindi  ako mataba! Haha!). We have our differences and there are things I wish he would do or be more of but as I am sure he also has problems with some of the things I do, I choose to focus on the positives while striving hard to manage the negatives.

Last year, J asked me if I was proud of him as a husband. I was stumped why he would ask that and then I realized that while I share with my friends how much I appreciate him, I did not tell him. Last year, too, was the first time I did not greet J on Facebook for Father’s Day. He never posts in Facebook and does not even acknowledge my posts (maswerte na ako if I get a Like!) so I did not think it would matter to him. A few days after Father’s Day, he told me “Buti pa yung ibang tatay, may greeting sa FB.” I was shocked! Importante pala! After that, I resolved to be more appreciative of his actions and efforts. I think my efforts have paid off as I think he feels more loved now than before.

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Wally, Lola N, and musings about married life

WARNING: R-18 for the first part! (But don’t worry, this article is not really just about Wally Bayola) 🙂

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I remember watching Wally Bayola’s video a couple of years back showing his intimate moments with a woman who was not his wife. I am not claiming to be a prude and truth be told, I have seen a couple of vids before that of the same nature. But that particular one was just too much for me and that was the video that made me swear never to watch another video of that nature again. I felt that those were two minutes of my life that I would never get back.

During the whole bruhaha following the release of that video, I learned through my FB news feed that his wife stood by him. Sobra akong bumilib! As in sobra! To forgive when your husband had an extra-marital affair is incredible but to do that when it seems like the whole world was watching and has seen your husband in a most intimate moment with another woman is, for me, amazing beyond words. That takes strength and courage and the will to face each day with your head held high.

Recently, because of the AlDub craze, I got a copy of Yes! magazine’s AlDub issue and they had a feature on Wally. I learned that earlier that year, before the video was leaked, one of Wally’s kids was diagnosed with a rare kind of cancer. Researching more, I learned that Wally’s wife knew of the affair, has actually talked to the girl involved, and the affair has ended even before the video went viral.

This — the whole Wally situation — made me realize so many things:

1. A marriage can surpass infidelity. I have seen couples who have separated because of infidelity but I have also seen some who were able to withstand it. One of my most fave quotes came from the movie The Vow. The mom learned of the dad’s cheating and yet stayed. When asked why, she answered, “I chose to stay with him for all the things he’s done right; not the one thing he’s done wrong. I chose to forgive him.” I hope I do not get tested but if I would be, I hope I can have the strength to forgive.

2. Forgiveness is possible. I believe that it is a God-given grace so it is with God that it can be given. I did not believe in this before but recently, a fellow N@Wie lost her husband and she was able to forgive the person who caused the accident. Na-amaze ako. Ang galing, ang galing. Kung hindi ba naman grace from God ang forgiveness, ewan ko na lang.

3. As important or probably more important as forgiveness from others is forgiveness of oneself. I read this from Mandy Hale: Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.

4. There are much more difficult things than facing infidelity. I am not undermining spouses who have suffered through their husband or wife’s infidelity. Hindi talaga. Ang hirap hirap nun. But to go through a child’s cancer, I think, is a more difficult trial.

5. Going through a hardship together makes a relationship stronger. The adage “What does not kill you makes you stronger” is indeed true.

6. Amidst trials, you would realize what is most important in life.

the most impt

Marriage is hard work. Oh, it is fun, yes. It is beautiful, yes. It is also hard work. In the course of married life, fights, arguments, trials, hurts will happen. Pero ganun talaga. Pipiliin lang talaga ang pagpapatawad at pagmamahal araw araw.

Sobra akong bilib sa asawa ni Wally. I am in awe of her. I am not privy to their private life but I am hoping that they are doing well. Sabi nga ni Lola Nidora, “May mga pagsubok sa daan pero ‘yan ang magpapatamis ng mga biyayang makakamtan.” At sana ang pagsubok na ito ay totoong nakapagpatamis sa kanilang biyayang nakakamtan sa ngayon.

On being a stay-at-home mom

Someone asked me if I had a hard time transitioning from being a working person to being a stay-at-home wife and mom (SAHWM). I have blogged about being a SAHWM and the changes it brought me but in snippets. This time, I will be talking fully about it.

This was the reason I decided to be a stay at home mom. But before I did, I had a thriving business and I have to be honest and say that the jump was scary.

Warmth in the Cold by Katie m. Berggren

Warmth in the Cold by Katie m. Berggren

I remember in college, although marriage and kids were not even on my mind,  I told my best friend that my plan was to be a homemaker/housewife and to throw luncheons and dinner parties. She jokingly retorted, “Hindi  housewife ang tawag dun! Socialite!” which was akin to her telling me that what I wanted was impossible. Hahaha! So I guess the pull to being home was there from the very beginning. In fact, when J and I got married, we were planning that I would be a stay-at-home wife.  So yes, the pull was there. Some of my friends from U.P. were telling me that they could not imagine being a SAHWM and they would die of boredom. That was never my concern. Still when we finally (J and I) decided to take the plunge, it was not easy for me.

My mom was a career person and except for one aunt, all of the adult females of my childhood were working women. I was very surprised though that my Mom was supportive of my decision to be a SAHWM. She was much more supportive of it than my decision to be a wedding planner! Hehehe! Also, I think I got it good because I seldom got insulting comments and retorts. Except for a couple of friends saying that they could not imagine stopping work, no one told me “Sayang ang pinag-aralan mo!” or words to that effect. I think it was because the way I presented myself did not give much opportunity for them to say that.

So if I had a supportive mom (and you have to admit, most SAHWMs have a hard time defending to their career moms their decisions) and did not get insults, what made it hard? The difficulty came from how I saw myself.

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Growing up, Christmas was magical for me. It was (and still is one of) my favorite time of the year. I thank my Mom for that. When I had Jia and Joya, I promised myself I will make their Christmases special, too. 🙂

Yesterday was Christmas and we had a blast (expect for the fact that I got sick in the late afternoon). As with any Pinoy home I think, the celebration started on the 24th. Jia and I decorated the gingerbread house we baked from scratch (I’m sorry, ako na ang dakilang nanay!). She had so much fun doing it and even her Daddy joined in the decorating! 🙂

 

When we were almost finished, I remembered we do not have pine trees yet so Jia worked on kneading the dough so we could bake gingerbread pine trees.

We finished the house…

and put it in the place of honor. Where else but beside the tree?

Jia and Joya’s Uncle J, Tito D, Tita M, and U, Jia’s favorite cousin, joined us for Christmas Eve dinner. Jia led the prayer and as usual, she thanked Papa Jesus for everything (Thank you for rice and karekare and… what’s that, mom? thank you for bagoong and chicken and gravy and spaghetti and rice again…). Basta kakatawa yan si Jia mag pray.

Can I just say, my seafood kare-kare was just sooooo good! Hahahahaha!!! Kelangan talaga ipagmalaki! Pero promise ang sarap kasi and it was my first time to cook seafood kare kare. 🙂

Since I have not seen my siblings in such a looong time (well, kasi busy sila), we had fun catching up during dinner. Oh well, madaldal naman kasi talaga kami! Hahaha!

My family went home shortly after that while we just waited for Noche Buena.

When it was around 1140pm, we went down again (without Joya this time because my little boy was fast asleep) and started to open the gifts. Jia was sooo excited.

She opened Tita Abie’s gift first and syempre sinuot nya agad! Hahaha! Thanks, Tita Abie!

After opening the gifts, we had our simple Noche Buena (we had Smoked King Salmon and salad because we do not eat meat anymore) and slept shortly after.

Christmas morning, Joya woke up first (well, he was the only one who didn’t stay up late). As usual, the first thing he did (after drinking milk) was to go to his ate. I caught this super cute picture on camera of the two of them holding hands while Jia was still half-asleep.

When Jia woke up, Joya hugged her