I realized that although I love, love, love positive parenting, I have not really blogged about it so much. So from now on, will do just that to spread more awareness about positive parenting. 🙂
I always say that hurt people hurt people but this is the first time I’m blogging about the opposite — those who feel loved spread love. 🙂
Two weeks ago, Jia felt jealous of an opportunity given to Joya. After I processed with her, I realized that I have not spent so much time with her in spite the fact that I have been bringing her to her writing class and have been supporting her in her swimming training. I resolved to fix that so we had a date last Wednesday (just the three of us – Jia, J, and me). That night, while we were out, J and I felt how much Jia basked in our attention. We felt guilty as we realized that we have not been as attuned to her the past few weeks.
A few days after, Jia was feeling the pressure of a competition she was training for. Unfortunately, I was out the whole day. When I got home at 10:00pm, she was still awake, waiting up for me. We were able to talk and process her feelings. The day after, I made it a point to spend almost the whole day with the kids and during the family meeting, J and I apologized to them because we have not been as present to them as we should have been.
Through these, I think Jia’s love tank was filled (that’s my positive parenting talk for “she felt loved” which I got from How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell).
One morning, a couple of days after, Joya woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Jia was reading a book and Joya tried to get it from her a couple of times. I did not interfere at first because that’s the rule at home (as much as possible, we do not interfere with the kids’ quarrels and issues).
The third time it happened, I asked for the book and asked calmly what was happening. I did not tell Joya he should not get the book. I also did not tell Jia that she should share. I asked them what was happening. Jia replied, “I think Kuya is cranky and that is why he keeps on getting my book.”
Have you ever experienced being in a bad mood but not fully realizing how bratty you were being until someone points it out? I have been in that situation a couple of times. And when Jia replied to me, I saw Joya’s face fill with understanding. It was as if he realized how unreasonable he was being because he was cranky.
What happened next was something I never would have expected. Instead of Jia whining about Joya’s mood or ignoring him, she turned to Joya and asked, “Would you like me to make you banana cookies?”
Joya was caught offguard. He came up to Jia and gave her a hug. Jia hugged him back. And then when they saw Iana watching them, they beckoned to her to come for a group sibling hug.
I was beyond proud. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
And yes, I wholly attribute this to positive parenting. 🙂