How to have a great 2016 – Jia’s way

Jia is not familiar with the concept of New Year’s Resolutions but she showed me a list of her reminders for herself for 2016. It is such a great list! I think if we all just follow this list, we will have a great year and a great life!

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Reminders:

  • Write in diary daily
  • Do not whine
  • No TV
  • Hugs and kisses
  • Love people
  • Sleep early
  • Festivals daily
  • Daily dates
  • More education
  • Make nice remarks
  • Often go outside
  • Be-you-tiful!

♥ Write in diary daily ♥

Journaling is something I really need to practice daily. Writing down my thoughts calms me and gives me perspective. In fact, it has been found out that journaling increases the immune system and reduces asthma and RA symptoms. Amazing, right?

♥ Do not whine ♥

Yeah. Just do not.

♥ No TV ♥

One day last week, I explained to Jia how a dyslexic brain works. I explained to her that Joya, because of the possibilty that he has dyslexia, needs to learn how to focus. TV, however, messes up with his brain and makes it harder for him to focus. After that explanation, Jia never asked for the TV to be turned on again. My heart is bursting with pride.

And for the normal people… so many articles and survey say that rich people watch so much less TV than, you know, non-rich people. Haha! Well, I know that money is not everything but since I want to be rich, I should really stop watching TV (and Facebook!)! Hahaha!!

♥ Hugs and kisses ♥

Jia’s primary love languages are Words and Time. Touch probably falls on the bottom of her list. But ever since she learned that my love language is Touch, she has actually made an effort to hug me more and also to hug Joya more (whose love language also is Touch). Nakakatuwa siya talaga!

Beyond Jia…

Children have primary love languages and parents must do their part in filling the love tank of their kid using the latter’s love language (and not the parents’). A kid whose emotional tank/bucket/love tank (whatever way you call it) will thrive. I was a guidance counselor once and so many of my students did not feel their parents’ love. I am sure their parents loved them so much. But the disconnect arose from the differences in love languages.

As for couples, I have heard so many complain of their spouse when the latter does not do the things they deem to be proofs of love. “Hindi man lang ako mabigyan ng bulaklak o tsokolate!”. The problem with this thinking is that it does not take into consideration the partner’s love language. Yes, he may not shower you with gifts but maybe he is willing to drive you all to the way to Batangas and wait for you while you have fun with your friends. Then his love language is Service and not Gifts. It does not mean that he does love you; it just means you he shows love in a different way (and he probably also does not understand how you show your love to him).

Awareness and Communication (yes, with a capital C) are keys.

♥ Love people ♥

‘Nuff said. 🙂

♥ Sleep early ♥

More than getting the enough number of sleep every day, I urge my kids to sleep early. In fact, their bedtime is 7:00 p.m. Sleeping early has so many advantages  and sleeping late is even correlated with depressive symptoms (HERE and HERE). Just Google “sleeping early vs. sleeping late” and you will understand why sleeping early is the best way to go.

♥  Festivals daily ♥

At our home, a Festival is the time when we, the whole family, pretend play to be in a Festival. The two older kids prepare everything and then we sit down to “eat”. Last time, they even prepared a separate area with toys for Iana so she won’t disturb the whole Festival.

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I am so happy that the kids love spending time with us. I know that in a few years, they would prefer being with their friends more but for now, I am using this opportunity to build a good relationship with them.

♥  Daily dates ♥

I used to have daily dates with Jia but now we only have twice weekly dates because of her school schedule. We realized that if we fail to keep her weekly dates, she starts to act out. “Act out” for her means she starts being whiny, impatient, etc. I therefore conclude, one-on-one dates are non-negotiable!

♥  More education ♥

I know that learning is a lifelong thing but it’s just funny that this comes from a 7 year old. 🙂

♥  Make nice remarks ♥

Jia is a cerebral and yet highly emotional person. She is, she admits, very sensitive and because of this, she totally understands how it feels to be on the receiving end of not-nice remarks from her less sensitive classmates. And even when she is hurting from not-nice comments and I am teaching her how to stand up for herself, there are times she hesitates to assert herself because she is afraid she might hurt her friends.

Two weeks ago, in our family meeting, she told Joya that she was hurt when he (Joya) and their cousin, Uno, left Jia. Jia said she felt left out. We thought of ways to prevent that from happening again and true enough, the next time Uno was with the two of them, Joya made extra care to not make Jia feel left out. (Yey for family meetings!) Last week, Joya and I picked up Jia from school. Jia asked Joya to play with her and her classmates. While they were running towards the playground, I reminded Jia to not leave out Joya. She looked at me with surprise on her face and replied “Of course not! I already know how it feels to be left out. I won’t do that to others!”

So, yes, make nice remarks and just overall be a nice person.

♥ Often go outside ♥

Jia loves reading and as happy as I am with that, I encourage her to go outside and play. She… we… all need sunlight and to be with nature! 🙂

♥ Be-you-tiful! ♥

Oh yeah!  Be beautiful!

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Have a beautiful 2016!!

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