Wally, Lola N, and musings about married life

WARNING: R-18 for the first part! (But don’t worry, this article is not really just about Wally Bayola) 🙂

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I remember watching Wally Bayola’s video a couple of years back showing his intimate moments with a woman who was not his wife. I am not claiming to be a prude and truth be told, I have seen a couple of vids before that of the same nature. But that particular one was just too much for me and that was the video that made me swear never to watch another video of that nature again. I felt that those were two minutes of my life that I would never get back.

During the whole bruhaha following the release of that video, I learned through my FB news feed that his wife stood by him. Sobra akong bumilib! As in sobra! To forgive when your husband had an extra-marital affair is incredible but to do that when it seems like the whole world was watching and has seen your husband in a most intimate moment with another woman is, for me, amazing beyond words. That takes strength and courage and the will to face each day with your head held high.

Recently, because of the AlDub craze, I got a copy of Yes! magazine’s AlDub issue and they had a feature on Wally. I learned that earlier that year, before the video was leaked, one of Wally’s kids was diagnosed with a rare kind of cancer. Researching more, I learned that Wally’s wife knew of the affair, has actually talked to the girl involved, and the affair has ended even before the video went viral.

This — the whole Wally situation — made me realize so many things:

1. A marriage can surpass infidelity. I have seen couples who have separated because of infidelity but I have also seen some who were able to withstand it. One of my most fave quotes came from the movie The Vow. The mom learned of the dad’s cheating and yet stayed. When asked why, she answered, “I chose to stay with him for all the things he’s done right; not the one thing he’s done wrong. I chose to forgive him.” I hope I do not get tested but if I would be, I hope I can have the strength to forgive.

2. Forgiveness is possible. I believe that it is a God-given grace so it is with God that it can be given. I did not believe in this before but recently, a fellow N@Wie lost her husband and she was able to forgive the person who caused the accident. Na-amaze ako. Ang galing, ang galing. Kung hindi ba naman grace from God ang forgiveness, ewan ko na lang.

3. As important or probably more important as forgiveness from others is forgiveness of oneself. I read this from Mandy Hale: Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.

4. There are much more difficult things than facing infidelity. I am not undermining spouses who have suffered through their husband or wife’s infidelity. Hindi talaga. Ang hirap hirap nun. But to go through a child’s cancer, I think, is a more difficult trial.

5. Going through a hardship together makes a relationship stronger. The adage “What does not kill you makes you stronger” is indeed true.

6. Amidst trials, you would realize what is most important in life.

the most impt

Marriage is hard work. Oh, it is fun, yes. It is beautiful, yes. It is also hard work. In the course of married life, fights, arguments, trials, hurts will happen. Pero ganun talaga. Pipiliin lang talaga ang pagpapatawad at pagmamahal araw araw.

Sobra akong bilib sa asawa ni Wally. I am in awe of her. I am not privy to their private life but I am hoping that they are doing well. Sabi nga ni Lola Nidora, “May mga pagsubok sa daan pero ‘yan ang magpapatamis ng mga biyayang makakamtan.” At sana ang pagsubok na ito ay totoong nakapagpatamis sa kanilang biyayang nakakamtan sa ngayon.

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